It's a Big Mental Battle

Weight loss is physical, right? Well, yes, I suppose the actual nature of it is. But, in order to get that physical event to happen, a whole lotta mental stuff's got to happen. In fact, every day, every meal, every decision you make takes a mental strength you have to keep battling to keep finding within yourself.

Last weekend, I resolved not to let the scale climb up like it normally does over Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. My plan was to eat ridiculously well and work out like it was my job so that I could indulge in an adult beverage or two and still remain where I needed to be on track with calories. And so, with much physical strength, I completed a grueling boot camp class (which I put full energy into), followed it by a snow shoeing trip with a small child on my back and then, Sunday morning, started out my day with a body pump (weight lifting class). There were no deserts, no family healthy pizza night, nothing but my usual breakfast, salads for lunch and healthy dinners...the only splurge was a couple of cocktails over the course of the weekend. So, with high hopes, I stepped on the scale Monday morning and was completely shattered - up 2 pounds again?!?!?! Really?!?!

It was such a huge mental blow that it put me in a bad mood all day. When you feel defeated, it's so easy to slip into actions that would cause your weight loss plan to get totally derailed. That's the real challenge with weight loss - staying the course when you're not mentally in the game. On a week day, it's not too difficult for me to stay on track because I'm pretty scheduled, always keep healthy food with me and have such a habit of going to the gym during my lunch break, I really don't know what I would do if I didn't work out. Mentally, though, I just wasn't into it. Let's face it, thinking your way to weight loss doesn't make it happen, but there's definitely something to that power of positive thinking. There's no doubt in my mind that, for me, that part of the puzzle also has to be in place for the scales to go down. Right now, though, that integral piece is missing.

Today's not much better. I'm no where near the sour mood I was in yesterday, but my spirits aren't exactly lifted either. I know this will pass and that my actions will have the desired consequence in time. I just feel like my give a damn is broken and I just can't really put my full energy forth.

I think what bothers me the most, though, is that I let my weight have such an intense effect on me. In all fairness, I woke up from a really bothersome dream yesterday morning and wasn't feeling chipper before I hit the scale, so I can't blame it for all my misery. But, I do wish I could figure out a way for those 3 little digits to not have such a big hit to my mood. A lot of folks, mentally, can't take the pressure of the scale on a day to day basis and I get that. However, a person has to figure out the methods that work for them in their weight loss journey and that's going to be different for every individual. After many years of looking for methods that worked for me, I know that monitoring my weight is necessary, and mostly helpful, for me to stay on track. On the days Mr. Scale reminds me I'm not where I want to be, I just wish it didn't hit me so deeply.

Finding inner strength, over and over again, is hard. Some days, I feel as strong as I could possibly be and other days, well, not so much. Overcoming a disappointment on those days stinks. It's such a roller coaster of a mental battle. That ride is so much harder to handle then the physical hardships in my opinion. But, I just have to buckle down and handle the ups and downs as best as possible. All this ranting and babbling for just one thought....I've got to keep truckin'.