After the topic of my last post followed by a long period of time with me not posting, you probably think I've resorted to hiding under my covers and waiting for the February blahs to be over. Not so! After taking a week long mental vacation from my weight loss track (note mental...I still ate well and exercised daily), I got right back on it and have been going strong.
I must admit, though I'm definitely not a winter hater, I always get a bit of the February doldrums. After not seeing the sun much for this many months, I start to look forward to a change of season around this time of the year. Now that the last day of February is here and Punxsutawny Phil has predicted an early spring, I'm looking forward to more time outdoors. With our weekends busy doing other stuff, we haven't made it up to our NH place to enjoy snow play in the mountains and have only had minimal outdoor play around home. That means I'm itching to have some weather conducive to city fun.
Not that winter is over by any means. Now it's time to really ramp up the snowy\cold fun so I can get in as much as I can before it's gone and the trees start to bud and bring life back to this part of the world. I've got pictures and stories to post of what we've been up to the last couple of weeks. I promise to make some time to report on that this week. See ya in March!
2/15/11
It's a Big Mental Battle
Weight loss is physical, right? Well, yes, I suppose the actual nature of it is. But, in order to get that physical event to happen, a whole lotta mental stuff's got to happen. In fact, every day, every meal, every decision you make takes a mental strength you have to keep battling to keep finding within yourself.
Last weekend, I resolved not to let the scale climb up like it normally does over Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. My plan was to eat ridiculously well and work out like it was my job so that I could indulge in an adult beverage or two and still remain where I needed to be on track with calories. And so, with much physical strength, I completed a grueling boot camp class (which I put full energy into), followed it by a snow shoeing trip with a small child on my back and then, Sunday morning, started out my day with a body pump (weight lifting class). There were no deserts, no family healthy pizza night, nothing but my usual breakfast, salads for lunch and healthy dinners...the only splurge was a couple of cocktails over the course of the weekend. So, with high hopes, I stepped on the scale Monday morning and was completely shattered - up 2 pounds again?!?!?! Really?!?!
It was such a huge mental blow that it put me in a bad mood all day. When you feel defeated, it's so easy to slip into actions that would cause your weight loss plan to get totally derailed. That's the real challenge with weight loss - staying the course when you're not mentally in the game. On a week day, it's not too difficult for me to stay on track because I'm pretty scheduled, always keep healthy food with me and have such a habit of going to the gym during my lunch break, I really don't know what I would do if I didn't work out. Mentally, though, I just wasn't into it. Let's face it, thinking your way to weight loss doesn't make it happen, but there's definitely something to that power of positive thinking. There's no doubt in my mind that, for me, that part of the puzzle also has to be in place for the scales to go down. Right now, though, that integral piece is missing.
Today's not much better. I'm no where near the sour mood I was in yesterday, but my spirits aren't exactly lifted either. I know this will pass and that my actions will have the desired consequence in time. I just feel like my give a damn is broken and I just can't really put my full energy forth.
I think what bothers me the most, though, is that I let my weight have such an intense effect on me. In all fairness, I woke up from a really bothersome dream yesterday morning and wasn't feeling chipper before I hit the scale, so I can't blame it for all my misery. But, I do wish I could figure out a way for those 3 little digits to not have such a big hit to my mood. A lot of folks, mentally, can't take the pressure of the scale on a day to day basis and I get that. However, a person has to figure out the methods that work for them in their weight loss journey and that's going to be different for every individual. After many years of looking for methods that worked for me, I know that monitoring my weight is necessary, and mostly helpful, for me to stay on track. On the days Mr. Scale reminds me I'm not where I want to be, I just wish it didn't hit me so deeply.
Finding inner strength, over and over again, is hard. Some days, I feel as strong as I could possibly be and other days, well, not so much. Overcoming a disappointment on those days stinks. It's such a roller coaster of a mental battle. That ride is so much harder to handle then the physical hardships in my opinion. But, I just have to buckle down and handle the ups and downs as best as possible. All this ranting and babbling for just one thought....I've got to keep truckin'.
Last weekend, I resolved not to let the scale climb up like it normally does over Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. My plan was to eat ridiculously well and work out like it was my job so that I could indulge in an adult beverage or two and still remain where I needed to be on track with calories. And so, with much physical strength, I completed a grueling boot camp class (which I put full energy into), followed it by a snow shoeing trip with a small child on my back and then, Sunday morning, started out my day with a body pump (weight lifting class). There were no deserts, no family healthy pizza night, nothing but my usual breakfast, salads for lunch and healthy dinners...the only splurge was a couple of cocktails over the course of the weekend. So, with high hopes, I stepped on the scale Monday morning and was completely shattered - up 2 pounds again?!?!?! Really?!?!
It was such a huge mental blow that it put me in a bad mood all day. When you feel defeated, it's so easy to slip into actions that would cause your weight loss plan to get totally derailed. That's the real challenge with weight loss - staying the course when you're not mentally in the game. On a week day, it's not too difficult for me to stay on track because I'm pretty scheduled, always keep healthy food with me and have such a habit of going to the gym during my lunch break, I really don't know what I would do if I didn't work out. Mentally, though, I just wasn't into it. Let's face it, thinking your way to weight loss doesn't make it happen, but there's definitely something to that power of positive thinking. There's no doubt in my mind that, for me, that part of the puzzle also has to be in place for the scales to go down. Right now, though, that integral piece is missing.
Today's not much better. I'm no where near the sour mood I was in yesterday, but my spirits aren't exactly lifted either. I know this will pass and that my actions will have the desired consequence in time. I just feel like my give a damn is broken and I just can't really put my full energy forth.
I think what bothers me the most, though, is that I let my weight have such an intense effect on me. In all fairness, I woke up from a really bothersome dream yesterday morning and wasn't feeling chipper before I hit the scale, so I can't blame it for all my misery. But, I do wish I could figure out a way for those 3 little digits to not have such a big hit to my mood. A lot of folks, mentally, can't take the pressure of the scale on a day to day basis and I get that. However, a person has to figure out the methods that work for them in their weight loss journey and that's going to be different for every individual. After many years of looking for methods that worked for me, I know that monitoring my weight is necessary, and mostly helpful, for me to stay on track. On the days Mr. Scale reminds me I'm not where I want to be, I just wish it didn't hit me so deeply.
Finding inner strength, over and over again, is hard. Some days, I feel as strong as I could possibly be and other days, well, not so much. Overcoming a disappointment on those days stinks. It's such a roller coaster of a mental battle. That ride is so much harder to handle then the physical hardships in my opinion. But, I just have to buckle down and handle the ups and downs as best as possible. All this ranting and babbling for just one thought....I've got to keep truckin'.
2/6/11
19 Months
We've passed the year and a half mark and Dylan is now closer to 2 years then 1. I know it sounds totally mushy, but Mike and I know that we are lucky enough to be given such a wonderful, sweet, happy, loving child and really try to cherish every moment we have with him. And, even though having a child means that not every moment is great, we try not to dwell on them.
Speaking of not great moments, one new skill Dylan's learned this month, that we're altogether not thrilled with, is whining. He has learned the sound and has been using it a lot. The first couple of weeks his discovered whining we heard it all the time. To try and nip that in the bud, we are telling him he needs to "use his words." While the initial vocal experimentation has tapered off, he still is using that method from time to time to try and convey something to us. And so, the battle of the whine begins. So far, it's not too horrible, but I know from being around other children that the phrase "use your words" (aka, no whining) will be used A LOT in the upcoming years!
Dylan has been learning his colors! When he helps us change laundry in the basement, he likes to play with the pool balls in the long unused pool table we have. He had one in each hand and when I asked him to show me the green one, he held out the hand with the green ball. To make sure it wasn't a fluke, I asked him to show me the red ball and he held out the red ball. What a little genius! He's been able to repeat the color names and often say the right one associated with a picture or object. However, that crazy big blue bear we brought home from Universal must have brain washed him. Since we got back from our trip, every time you ask him what color something is, his answer is always "blue!" I'm going to have to have a talk with that bear to help us get Dylan back on track.
We have started potty training! Well, not really. But, we have started the process to introduce the idea of someday having Dylan use a potty receptacle other than a diaper. He's responded great to the process. We bought a potty and he likes to sit on it, fully clothed, and say "poop!" He also likes to lift and close the lid on his little potty and threaten to put toys in it (we also have to emphasize that only pee-pee and poo-poo go in the potty). He also loves to interrupt any potty time his parents try to have. And that's where we are. No privacy, no real progress and a new toy potty that takes up floor space in our bathroom. Real potty training is obviously a little ways off.
Mike and Dylan continue to attend swimming and music class each week. With their first swim class session wrapping up, the teacher suggested the next level up. Some days, Dylan does a great job kicking in the water and seems pretty comfortable there. However, Mike's decided to repeat the same class once more since some other days, Dylan still seems to view that water stuff as a formidable thing.
They're in the 2nd session of music class and some days, Dylan does more then sit on Dad's lap an observe (although that's still what he does most classes). He has progressed on the twinkle twinkle front. That's one of the songs I sing to him during our bed time routine and hearing it at other times makes him a little upset. He used to get so upset tears rolled down his face. That "progressed" to only getting a quivering bottom lip and burying his head into Dad's shoulder. Now, sometimes he's not getting upset at all. The good side of music class is that Dylan has finally started experimenting with his own set of pipes. He'll sometimes start singing "la, la, la" when he sees Elmo (like the intro song to Elmo's world) and likes to start the abc song as heard below:
Speaking of not great moments, one new skill Dylan's learned this month, that we're altogether not thrilled with, is whining. He has learned the sound and has been using it a lot. The first couple of weeks his discovered whining we heard it all the time. To try and nip that in the bud, we are telling him he needs to "use his words." While the initial vocal experimentation has tapered off, he still is using that method from time to time to try and convey something to us. And so, the battle of the whine begins. So far, it's not too horrible, but I know from being around other children that the phrase "use your words" (aka, no whining) will be used A LOT in the upcoming years!
Dylan has been learning his colors! When he helps us change laundry in the basement, he likes to play with the pool balls in the long unused pool table we have. He had one in each hand and when I asked him to show me the green one, he held out the hand with the green ball. To make sure it wasn't a fluke, I asked him to show me the red ball and he held out the red ball. What a little genius! He's been able to repeat the color names and often say the right one associated with a picture or object. However, that crazy big blue bear we brought home from Universal must have brain washed him. Since we got back from our trip, every time you ask him what color something is, his answer is always "blue!" I'm going to have to have a talk with that bear to help us get Dylan back on track.
We have started potty training! Well, not really. But, we have started the process to introduce the idea of someday having Dylan use a potty receptacle other than a diaper. He's responded great to the process. We bought a potty and he likes to sit on it, fully clothed, and say "poop!" He also likes to lift and close the lid on his little potty and threaten to put toys in it (we also have to emphasize that only pee-pee and poo-poo go in the potty). He also loves to interrupt any potty time his parents try to have. And that's where we are. No privacy, no real progress and a new toy potty that takes up floor space in our bathroom. Real potty training is obviously a little ways off.
Mike and Dylan continue to attend swimming and music class each week. With their first swim class session wrapping up, the teacher suggested the next level up. Some days, Dylan does a great job kicking in the water and seems pretty comfortable there. However, Mike's decided to repeat the same class once more since some other days, Dylan still seems to view that water stuff as a formidable thing.
They're in the 2nd session of music class and some days, Dylan does more then sit on Dad's lap an observe (although that's still what he does most classes). He has progressed on the twinkle twinkle front. That's one of the songs I sing to him during our bed time routine and hearing it at other times makes him a little upset. He used to get so upset tears rolled down his face. That "progressed" to only getting a quivering bottom lip and burying his head into Dad's shoulder. Now, sometimes he's not getting upset at all. The good side of music class is that Dylan has finally started experimenting with his own set of pipes. He'll sometimes start singing "la, la, la" when he sees Elmo (like the intro song to Elmo's world) and likes to start the abc song as heard below:
He's definitely learning the letters. Last week, he pulled out a book we'd never read to him and proudly pronounced the title of the book - ABC! Such a little smarty pants.
Dylan officially has his first toy obsession - trains. His pronunciation of them graduated from "sho-sho" to a good "choo-choo." And boy does he love his choo-choos. He likes them in books, he likes them on tv and he likes to play with them...and his collection has exploded. Dylan's awesome cousins let him borrow their train table (where you can lay tracks) and some of their Thomas the Train collection. He LOVES it and has spent hours playing on it since Mike set it up last week. Now we just have to figure out where the table's going to live. It's currently in our living room and while I'm glad Dylan loves choo-choo's, I don't love them enough to be a part of that room's decor.
Dylan's known the word "butterfly" for some time and has correctly identified the insect many times. Unbeknownst to each other, Mike and I both showed him butterfly hands (where you hook your thumbs together and wave your fingers like a butterfly) and he loved it. Now, he'll hold his hands together, wiggle his fingers and say "butterfly" while proudly looking up at us. It's too cute! The knowledge has been a little overextended since he's also calling anything that slightly resembles a butterfly shape a butterfly, namely leaves and hearts. I think he's going to love Valentine's Day....he'll be in butterfly heaven!
To celebrate the snow we've been getting, we strapped on the snowshoes and had a little trip at the nearby Stony Brook Reservations. Here are some cute pics from our trip.
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| My Handsome Boys I actually let Mike carry Dylan for part of this trip. |
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| Me and My Cute Boy He had fun walking (with assistance) in some of the more packed down snow near the parking area. |
Happy 19 Months to Dylan!
2/5/11
Anyone Seen My Motivation?
It seems to be missing. Perhaps it got buried under the snow?
After acheiving my Disney weight and going on vacation, the scales did what they normally do after a vacation, go up. So, I spent a week getting it back down, ate with slightly (and I mean very slightly) more freedom over a weekend and then spent this week working all week to get that off again. Why won't those 2 pounds just STAY AWAY?!?
Reading the above, it would seem like my motivation and dedication would be in place. That's not exactly the case. I have been waging a huge mental war against myself this week that has caused several big battles on a daily basis. I'm at a tough place in the weight loss process. I know what I need to do to get where I want to go (pre-baby weight), I have a very solid goal in mind (to wear a specific dress to my good friend's wedding in April) but to get these last pounds off requires far more dedication than I seem to have in me right now.
Kicking my butt all week long with diet and exercise is usually the easy part for me. I'm scheduled. I'm routined. I normally can do it without complaint. Something was very different this week.
For one, I woke up hungry every day and the hunger monster within reared it's ugly head around every corner. I did my best to bonk him on the head to get him under control but he was relentless. It took every ounce of resistence in me to only eat the amount that I know I could eat to acheive the weight loss I wanted to. It was SO HARD and I felt SO HUNGRY for much of the week. That sucked.
In order to burn more calories to offset the extra little snack I was having daily to keep myself sane, I added another 30 minutes of workout time almost every day this week. That means I was getting in an hour and a half a day. Because of other obligations this week, that meant I had to fit that 30 minutes in before work on Thursday and Friday. I actually set my alarm 2 days in a row! Usually, I wait for Dylan's very dependable internal alarm clock to get me out of bed. But I dragged my butt out of bed while Mike, Dylan and the kitties were still snoozing, got dressed in my gym clothes and went to the cold, dark, depressing basement to fit in my time. If you know me, you know that I am absolutely not a morning person. It was so incredibly hard, with no motivation at my side, to make myself do that. But I did. Normally, that would make me proud beyond belief but it's not this week for some reason.
I seem to have lost my motivation. I can only battle my inner determination for so long before I throw up my hands and surrender. In weight loss, every day is a new day and every decision counts. I hope that next week the healthy decisions are a little easier to go along with because my reserves are completely wiped out!
So for those of you that think this is easy for me, it's not. It's really not.
After acheiving my Disney weight and going on vacation, the scales did what they normally do after a vacation, go up. So, I spent a week getting it back down, ate with slightly (and I mean very slightly) more freedom over a weekend and then spent this week working all week to get that off again. Why won't those 2 pounds just STAY AWAY?!?
Reading the above, it would seem like my motivation and dedication would be in place. That's not exactly the case. I have been waging a huge mental war against myself this week that has caused several big battles on a daily basis. I'm at a tough place in the weight loss process. I know what I need to do to get where I want to go (pre-baby weight), I have a very solid goal in mind (to wear a specific dress to my good friend's wedding in April) but to get these last pounds off requires far more dedication than I seem to have in me right now.
Kicking my butt all week long with diet and exercise is usually the easy part for me. I'm scheduled. I'm routined. I normally can do it without complaint. Something was very different this week.
For one, I woke up hungry every day and the hunger monster within reared it's ugly head around every corner. I did my best to bonk him on the head to get him under control but he was relentless. It took every ounce of resistence in me to only eat the amount that I know I could eat to acheive the weight loss I wanted to. It was SO HARD and I felt SO HUNGRY for much of the week. That sucked.
In order to burn more calories to offset the extra little snack I was having daily to keep myself sane, I added another 30 minutes of workout time almost every day this week. That means I was getting in an hour and a half a day. Because of other obligations this week, that meant I had to fit that 30 minutes in before work on Thursday and Friday. I actually set my alarm 2 days in a row! Usually, I wait for Dylan's very dependable internal alarm clock to get me out of bed. But I dragged my butt out of bed while Mike, Dylan and the kitties were still snoozing, got dressed in my gym clothes and went to the cold, dark, depressing basement to fit in my time. If you know me, you know that I am absolutely not a morning person. It was so incredibly hard, with no motivation at my side, to make myself do that. But I did. Normally, that would make me proud beyond belief but it's not this week for some reason.
I seem to have lost my motivation. I can only battle my inner determination for so long before I throw up my hands and surrender. In weight loss, every day is a new day and every decision counts. I hope that next week the healthy decisions are a little easier to go along with because my reserves are completely wiped out!
So for those of you that think this is easy for me, it's not. It's really not.
2/4/11
That's a Whole Lotta Snow
We finally remembered to get out and take some pics of the house this morning. Mike was trying to get the trash out for collection and I was in between a work out and shower...hurrying to get to work. Needless to say, we didn't have for stellar shots or seeing the house from the best angle, but this is what our casa currently looks like:
That snow bank to the side of Dylan and I is what I had to throw the snow OVER in the last storm when shoveling the stairs.
After having no snow in November and no snow in December until after Christmas, Boston has more than caught up. Last month, we had the 3rd snowiest January on record and the 6th snowiest month ever. For a locale that generally sees its fair share of snow, that's saying a lot.
To give you a visual of the amount of total snowfall we've had (and keep in mind this official record is taken at Logan airport which is right on the harbor...it often has less snow totals during storms then more in land), here's the official Shaq-O-Meter:
That's a whole lotta snow!
(To check in on the Shaq-O-Meter for the rest of the winter, click here for a current visual.)
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| Lots of Icicles and SNOW |
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| Mike unburied Dylan's snowman from several storms ago. |
After having no snow in November and no snow in December until after Christmas, Boston has more than caught up. Last month, we had the 3rd snowiest January on record and the 6th snowiest month ever. For a locale that generally sees its fair share of snow, that's saying a lot.
To give you a visual of the amount of total snowfall we've had (and keep in mind this official record is taken at Logan airport which is right on the harbor...it often has less snow totals during storms then more in land), here's the official Shaq-O-Meter:
That's a whole lotta snow!
(To check in on the Shaq-O-Meter for the rest of the winter, click here for a current visual.)
Folks around here are complaining big time. Even though we're all used to snow, this is an extreme and it's causing some headaches. In addition to the sore backs from shoveling, sore butts from falling, there are some other, less obvious (especially to the folks down south who can't conceive of living in this) side effects.
The roads are clear (as in you see pavement on all of them) thanks to the tireless crews of our snow plows. However, there are only so many places to put the snow and those places are piled sky high. Our roads are more narrow (2 lane streets are now 1 and a half lane streets) and snow banks at intersections are so high that I can't see over them even in my tall SUV. This means TRAFFIC! This is the one side effect I have had enough of. My normal 12 minute commute to go 4.5 miles on back roads is taking me 30 minutes! I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to park my car and just run home...it would almost be faster. Unfortunately, that's another issue.
Walking is treacherous. Thanks to some day time melting and night time refreezing, the sidewalks are ice rinks.....if they've even been cleared. Some are not as diligent as they should be in clearing the public paths around their houses of snow (and some are ticketed for this...yes you're fined in the city of Boston for not shoveling the public ways on your property) which causes some dead ends when you're walking. So, many, quite logically, walk out on the street. Hey, the roads have been treated so there's more traction and they're clear. However, refer back to the previous paragraph about narrowed streets and you see how adding pedestrians to the mix can make everything slightly more dangerous for all.
Apparently, the city is very literally running out of places to put the snow. Since snow banks are so high, they're actually transporting some to city empty lots and piling it up there. Given that snow banks in plowed parking lots are up to 20 feet high, I'd love to see how high the snow piles in those overflow lots are!
The strain of the weight of the snow is also causing some trouble for some of the roofs in the area. Since temperatures haven't done their part to melt all the snowfall we've had, snow several feet deep is just hanging out on some of the flatter roofs. If you're a big ol' warehouse roof, this means trouble. We've had several collapse. Before yesterday, I hadn't heard of any issues with residential roofs but earlier this week, the threat of another foot of now weight to be added scared enough of us that we got on our roofs to clear them, including me. Our house has one section of flat roof so I hopped up there, well more realistically slowly and carefully climbed up on a ladder that Mike had held with a death grip, and pushed off a couple of feet of snow. Given that we had some freezing rain the following day and snow acts like a really good sponge, I was very glad I did it.
I know a lot of folks around here will hate me for saying this but I say let's shoot for the record! We're already this close, what's a couple more feet of snow? The main issue, as I see it, is that we just haven't had enough in between storms melting time. Give us an above freezing week or so and those snow banks will get back down to reasonable sizes to make room to break the record. Wahoo! Bring it on winter!
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