The Gift of Life

I'm going to take a little break in posting our cheerful Disney pictures for a post that's, well, less magic and laughter, but still has an uplifting message to it (at least I hope it comes across that way).

Yesterday was my birthday. And I know most of you already know that because I got lots of happy wishes via text, email, Facebook, phone calls and even a couple of old fashion cards in the mail (which I love getting). I took the day off so I could spend it with my boys. And while the boys were in preschool for the morning, I took some time to spoil myself by shopping for some additions to my wardrobe. It was a lovely day, good times with my little boys and my big one. Mike and I went out to breakfast and dinner - just the two of us. Always lovely to spend some time actually being able to have a conversation without little ones demanding our attention. The whole family had lunch together and had a fun outing for birthday ice cream. They all showered me with lots of hugs....really couldn't have asked for a nicer birthday day. But....

There was a sense of sadness underneath it all.

Recently...and I can't pinpoint any one event or time that it started....I've had a new understanding of mortality come over me. Despite being in great health, I have this unshakable feeling of how delicate life is and how quickly it can change. Now, I don't feel it in a doomsday it's all going to end kind of way, but in a way of appreciation. Realizing on a new level how everything in life is such a gift and truly needs to be appreciated for that. It's been a little overwhelming and made me much more emotional that I usually am.

Maybe it's just a result of aging and realizing not everyone gets the opportunity to do that. A girl I knew from church growing up and am still in connection with via Facebook has been battling cancer for years. A few months ago, she posted that it aggravates her for people to complain about getting older when seeing another birthday pass is the biggest thing she hopes for. I was really moved by her comment and it struck a chord. She's right! When you're young, you feel like life will just go on (seemingly) forever. Then you realize, through sickness, accidents and sometimes by their own measures, a lot of lives are cut short. Not everyone gets the opportunity to live to a ripe old age and a lot of that is completely out of our own control.

Sunday I reached out to an old friend that I've been out of touch with for several years. In the many years we were very close, we always celebrated our birthdays together and did it full out. My birthday made me think about her and decided it was time to reconnect. I found out she's been battling cancer as well. She's 5 months older than me. Wow! The news hit me like a ton of bricks. On top of that, Sunday night we found out Dylan's wonderful preschool teacher lost her home and three dogs to fire. The family was left with only the clothes on their backs. Wow. Wow! Devastating news that just shook me to the core.

Getting 2 such big shockers in a small time frame affected me deeply. I'm generally not what you'd call an emotional person (though that seems to be changing with age too). Maybe it's my inexperience with dealing with such intense emotions, but I was just "feeling" so deeply, I didn't really understand what I was feeling. The 2 big pieces of news I got made me intensely thankful for what I have around me. My health, my family, my home, my friends....it's a pretty amazing life I've got. It was all just a lot to process internally while also trying to enjoy a "light" day of celebration.

I think this post is sounding like more of a downer than I meant it to. After having another day of figuring out what's stewing in my head in regards to all this, the message I want to give is....thanks! Thank you to all of you for being a part of my amazing little world. Thanks to the world for giving me reminders from time to time to hold on and give adoration to the things that make me happy and truly\deeply appreciate them while I have them.  Life is wonderful. Full of ups and downs and twists and turns. It's quite a ride. Buckle your seat belt and enjoy it!